The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry see post risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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