The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools browse around this site are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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